What is Identity?

What is identity? It’s a fundamental question that so many of us struggle to answer. Why does this matter? Because understanding our true identity is essential for living authentically and fulfilling our true life purpose. Too often, we define our identity by how we or others perceive us, leading to a shallow and limiting understanding of who we are. For instance, if we see ourselves as defined by our job title, we reduce our identity to a workplace role. If we define ourselves as an athlete, our identity becomes tied to performance. If we view ourselves as depressed, our identity becomes that of depression. These definitions, rooted in roles and states, are temporary and often conflicting. They cannot encapsulate the fullness of who we truly are. Instead, they diminish our essence and obscure the deeper truth of our being. Furthermore, trying to define our identity based on our roles and states is not really telling us about who is adopting these roles and experiencing these states. We need to think more deeply and clearly about identity. We need to uncover our fundamental, true identity beneath the many surface identities that we adopt. By thinking more deeply and clearly about identity, we can uncover our true selves and connect with a greater sense of purpose and authenticity.

Perceptions of Identity

A 2014 Ipsos MORI survey revealed that 44% of respondents considered their interests and leisure activities as the most important aspect of their identity (excluding family, friends, and work). This widespread perception—that our identity is defined by our activities and interests—doesn’t help us to find our true selves and live our true life purpose. Instead, it contributes to confusion about identity and, ultimately, authenticity.

Our perceptions of identity are shaped by our social environment—family, schools, peer groups, and leisure activities all play a role. They are often based on the thoughts, emotions, and roles that we identify with, and our reactions to our environment.

But true identity lies beyond these surface-level definitions. To understand who we really are, we must look deeper—beyond the mind’s contents, behaviour patterns, personality traits, and the labels we mistakenly accept as identity. The real question is: Who is perceiving? Who is thinking? Who is feeling? Who is playing these roles? Who is being? Achieving this awareness mindfulness—the practice of consciously directing our attention as observer in the present moment without reactivity or judgement. By cultivating this state, we step back into the centre of our being, freeing ourselves from the endless stream of thoughts and emotions we often identify with. This allows us to experience our true identity—beyond the roles we play and the patterns we follow.

Why the Question of Identity Matters

The question of identity is neglected in today’s mass society, even though it is essential for self-awareness and understanding and fulfilling our true needs. Looking at search engine statistics, it can be seen that people are more interested in finding out about identity theft than finding out about identity itself.

Why is this the case? Without sufficient mindfulness, we can become entangled in the endless stream of thoughts, emotions, and external stimuli that dominate our daily lives. This leaves many of us living in a near-trance state, disconnected from our deeper selves. Furthermore, mass society depends on, encourages, and expects our conformity to roles and cultural norms, leaving little room for authentic individuality—especially when that individuality challenges established social structures or worldviews.

Discovering our true identity—the essence of who we are—reveals our interconnectedness with all life. However, this realisation presents two significant challenges. First, we must confront the reality that the suffering in the world is not separate from us but part of the greater wholeness of our shared identity. Recognising this can be deeply painful and often triggers psychological resistance. Second, understanding our unity with all life dismantles the illusions of separation that have long been used to justify control through divide and rule, expansion through war and conquest, continued social injustice, and the exploitation and destruction of our natural environment.

In psychology, the term identity foreclosure is used to describe the psychological state in which people think they know who they are before they have explored all options of identity. Such people commit to an identity too soon by adopting the identity of others, the identities they are given by their social and cultural environment, or the identities they form automatically without critical analysis or mindfulness. While more noticeable in adolescents, this phenomenon also affects many adults. Finding our true identity requires the skill of mindfulness and the ability to be fully present to who we really are. This helps us avoid dissociation and the trance-like states so easily induced by mass media, the Internet, television, and smart phones. By stepping into conscious awareness, we can move beyond surface-level identities and live in alignment with our true essence.

Personality Aspects and Behaviour Patterns

When we identify with our dominant personality aspects and behaviour patterns, we can adopt false identities that limit our behaviour and potential. These false identities can be positive, negative, or neutral. It is important to become aware of this tendency and to see that we are much more than these patterns of experiences. To help identify them, here is a list of some of the most common archetypal ones:

• The Addict
• The Aggressor
• The Angel
• The Boss
• The Carer
• The Celebrity
• The Child
• The Conformist
• The Coward
• The Creator
• The Dreamer
• The Entrepreneur
• The Entertainer
• The Explorer
• The Follower
• The Fool
• The Giver
• The Healer
• The Helper
• The Hero
• The Intellectual
• The Leader
• The Loner
• The Manipulator
• The Martyr
• The Masochist
• The Master
• The Mystic
• The Narcissist
• The Outcast
• The Parent
• The Pauper
• The Peacemaker
• The Perfectionist
• The Performer
• The Prisoner
• The Protector
• The Rebel
• The Receiver
• The Rescuer
• The Scapegoat
• The Seducer
• The Servant
• The Student
• The Sufferer
• The Teacher
• The Trickster
• The Victim
• The Villain
• The Visionary
• The Warrior
• The Worker

Rather than be possessed by such limiting, distorting identities, we owe it to ourselves to let go of them so that we can open to our true identity. This will also help to break the cycle of the dominant behaviour patterns underlying them, but we can work to release these patterns too when we give ourselves greater choice and make changes to our behaviour.

Identity and Mindfulness

To discover our true identity, we need to be in a mindful state in which we are fully present and free of unconscious identifications with our thoughts, emotions, roles, behaviour, and personality aspects, as well as the labels and unconscious identifications we pick up from our environment.

In this state, we are able to recover our attention and hold clear awareness as the observer. If our attention wanders, we simply bring it back to being present in the here and now. In this state, we can ask:

• Who am I that is having these thoughts?
• Who am I that is having these emotions?
• Who am I that performs these roles?
• Who am I that engages in these activities and interests?

As we reclaim our attention and clear our awareness in this way, we can start to be present to our deeper identity of being that exists behind our thoughts, emotions, roles, and behaviour—behind even our constructed personality. It is this experience that can reshape our personality so that we can become an authentic centre aligned to our true selves with authentic values. To support this process, read my posts Finding Your True Self and A Meditation to Find Your True Self.

Identity and the True Self

The true self is the place where we are most ourselves and most in tune with life. In it we discover our interconnectedness with all things and realise that the limit of our being is arbitrary. We also discover that—as a personality with a unique history and a unique physical body to anchor it—we are an individual centre that adds diversity and richness to the whole. Thus there are two complementary aspects to our identity: our local individual self and our non-local greater self.

The conscious integration of these two aspects of identity is the path of authenticity leading to the flourishing of self-realisation. It means expressing our own unique individuality to diversify and enrich the whole. It also means experiencing our wholeness to inform our identity and integrate it with the rest of life. It is a challenging but enriching and fulfilling experience.

Next Step: To deepen your journey of discovering your true identity and integrating mindfulness into your life, book a Guidance Call with me. Together, we’ll explore how to reconnect with your true self and live with purpose and presence.