What is Identity?

Our identity is who we are. It is essential for us to know our true identity if we are to live authentically and follow our true life purpose. Our identity is often defined by how we and others see ourselves. The problem with defining identity in this way is that our identity then becomes arbitrary. If we see ourselves as our job title, for example, our identity becomes our role within the workplace. If we see ourselves as an athlete, our identity becomes that role. If we see ourselves as depressed, our identity becomes that of depression. Many of these definitions of identity, based on our roles and states, can change or even conflict, and they can never encapsulate the fullness of who we are, and only diminish it. Furthermore, trying to define our identity based on our roles and states is not really telling us about who is adopting these roles and experiencing these states. We need to think more deeply and clearly about identity. We need to uncover our fundamental, true identity beneath the many surface identities that we adopt.

Perceptions of Identity

In the latest survey conducted by Ipsos MORI this month, respondents were asked what, apart from friends and family, or their job, is most important to their identity. The top answer, provided by 44% of respondents was that interests and leisure activities were most important to their identity. In fairness, the answers were given from a multiple choice list. However, the general perception that our identity is defined by our activities and interests is not helping us to find our true selves and live our true life purpose, but adding to the confusion of identity and therefore of authenticity.

Perceptions of identity are usually formed in our social environment—most notably in our family, our schools, our peer groups, and our leisure activities. They are often based on the thoughts, emotions, and roles that we identify with, and our reactions to our environment.

In order to understand our true identity we need to look deeper than the contents of our mind and the behaviour patterns, personality aspects, and labels that we mistake for identity. We need to know who is perceiving, who is thinking, who is feeling, who is performing these roles and behaviour patterns—in short, who is being. This can be done through mindfulness—the practice of consciously directing our attention as observer in the present moment without reactivity or judgement. Mindfulness enables us to step back into our centre of being so that we don’t get caught up in the stream of thoughts and emotions and start identifying with them.

The Question of Identity

The question of identity is neglected in mass society, even though it is essential for our self-awareness and for us to know and fulfil our true needs. Looking at search engine statistics, it can be seen that people are more interested in finding out about identity theft than finding out about identity itself.

Why is this? Because if we lack sufficient mindfulness, we won’t disentangle from the constant stream of thoughts and emotions that preoccupy us, or the constant external stimulation we subject ourselves to. In other words, we can live a trance-like life. To add to this, mass society depends on, encourages, and expects our conformity, particularly to roles and cultural norms. The potential for an authentic sense of individuality emerging is therefore limited, especially where it is a challenge to established social structures and cultural worldviews.

When we uncover our true identity or true self, we open to our essential interconnectedness with all things. This raises two challenges. Firstly, we must face the fact that the suffering in the world is not something removed from us, but something within the wholeness that defines our identity as much as our individuality. This makes world suffering very much our own, which can be painful and challenging to embrace and can therefore provoke psychological resistance. Secondly, a shared identity with all life banishes all myths based on separation that are used to justify control through divide and rule, expansion through war and conquest, continued social injustice, and the exploitation and destruction of our natural environment.

In psychology, the term identity foreclosure is used to describe the psychological state in which people think they know who they are before they have explored all options of identity. Such people commit to an identity too soon by adopting the identity of others, the identities they are given by their social and cultural environment, or the identities they form automatically without critical analysis or mindfulness. This is more obvious in adolescents, but I maintain that it is also a condition widely affecting adults. Finding our true identity requires the skill of mindfulness and the ability to be fully present to who we really are, so that we aren’t lost in dissociation and trance states, which is so easy with the prevalence of the mass media, the Internet, television, and smart phones.

Personality Aspects and Behaviour Patterns

When we identify with our dominant personality aspects and behaviour patterns, we can adopt false identities that limit our behaviour and potential. These false identities can be positive, negative, or neutral. It is important to become aware of this tendency and to see that we are much more than these patterns of experiences. To help identify them, here is a list of some of the most common archetypal ones:

• The Addict
• The Aggressor
• The Angel
• The Boss
• The Carer
• The Celebrity
• The Child
• The Conformist
• The Coward
• The Creator
• The Dreamer
• The Entrepreneur
• The Entertainer
• The Explorer
• The Follower
• The Fool
• The Giver
• The Healer
• The Helper
• The Hero
• The Intellectual
• The Leader
• The Loner
• The Manipulator
• The Martyr
• The Masochist
• The Master
• The Mystic
• The Narcissist
• The Outcast
• The Parent
• The Pauper
• The Peacemaker
• The Perfectionist
• The Performer
• The Prisoner
• The Protector
• The Rebel
• The Receiver
• The Rescuer
• The Scapegoat
• The Seducer
• The Servant
• The Student
• The Sufferer
• The Teacher
• The Trickster
• The Victim
• The Villain
• The Visionary
• The Warrior
• The Worker

Rather than be possessed by such limiting, distorting identities, we owe it to ourselves to let go of them so that we can open to our true identity. This will also help to break the cycle of the dominant behaviour patterns underlying them, but we can work to release these patterns too when we give ourselves greater choice and make changes to our behaviour.

Identity and Mindfulness

In order to discover our true identity, we need to be in a mindful state in which we are fully present and free of unconscious identifications with our thoughts, emotions, roles, behaviour, and personality aspects, as well as the labels and unconscious identifications we pick up from our environment. In this state we are able to recover our attention and hold clear awareness as the observer. If our attention wanders, we simply bring it back to being present in the here and now. In this state we can ask:

• Who am I that is having these thoughts?
• Who am I that is having these emotions?
• Who am I that performs these roles?
• Who am I that engages in these activities and interests?

By reclaiming our attention and clearing our awareness in this way, we can start to be present and discover our deeper identity of being that exists behind our thoughts, emotions, roles, and behaviour—behind even our constructed personality. It is this experience that can reshape our personality so that we can become an authentic centre aligned to our true selves with authentic values.

For more on discovering your true self, read my posts Finding Your True Self and A Meditation to Find Your True Self.

Identity and the True Self

The true self is the place where we are most ourselves, and most in tune with life. In it we discover our interconnectedness with all things and realise that the limit of our being is arbitrary. We also discover that—as a personality with a unique history and a unique physical body to anchor it—we are an individual centre that adds diversity and richness to the whole. Thus there are two complementary aspects to our identity: our local individual self and our non-local greater self.

The conscious integration of these two aspects of identity is the path of authenticity leading to the flourishing of self-realisation. It means expressing our own unique individuality to diversify and enrich the whole. It also means experiencing our wholeness to inform our identity and integrate it with the rest of life. It is a challenging but enriching and fulfilling experience.

Next Step: to learn more about integrating mindfulness and authenticity into your life to deepen your experience and expression of your true identity, book a Guidance Call with me.